literally have had to revisit my past so much this last week. and you can only take so much revisiting before you get fed up with it. before it starts to re-burrow its eyes into you and twist at your insides and gnaw at you again. I was doing so well, I was getting by. you can only be viewed and told you are a piece of shit for so long before you actually start to believe in the lie itself…
So I’m writing a careplan for a 12 year old child who has recently been diagnosed with a form of cancer that has an exceptionally high poor prognosis. As i sit here writing developmental milestones, a multitude of past experiences flood into my mind. Experiences that are not even of great substance, but have impacted my life none-the-less for the better or worse. Experiences that this child will most likely never get to experience; a multitude of experiences that this child’s parents will never get to witness him experience. so strange how so many little things are taken for-granted of. and mostly, it is truly unfortunate that it takes writing this careplan for a dying 12 year old boy for me to revisit those ideas of, “life is short but sweet for certain”, “you only live once, so make it count”, “you are only young once” — all of those cliche sayings. I have been mulling over myself for so long now, that it has been hard to think outside of this black box. not even mulling over myself so much, but mulling over events of the recent past. but its a new dawn, its a new day. i am young. i am healthy. and anything is possible.
You’re gonna miss this; You’re gonna want this back; You’re gonna wish these days hadn’t gone by so fast. These are some good times; So take a good look around;, You may not know it now, But you’re gonna miss this
wow, weird how much i actually feel this way but never really thought of it…
(Source: fashionfever, via onesecondshort)
hahahahah
(Source: saraparaaaa, via smalesh)
But you didn’t have to cut me off
Make out like it never happened and that we were nothing
And I don’t even need your love
But you treat me like a stranger and that feels so rough
And you didn’t have to stoop so low
Have your friends collect your records and then change your number
I guess that I don’t need that though
Now you’re just somebody that I used to know
(Source: psychodelic, via dirtylittlestylewhoree)
(via lenasophia)
(Source: adawehi8, via paigecameron)
